Whatever happened to the days of soap and water, and washing of the hands, and then drying them on a towel, or paper towels? Instead it's all about the Purell hand sanitizers that people are whipping out of their bags faster than they can answer their unsanitized cellphones.

Really, sanitize your phones. They're disgusting with all the ear goo sitting on there. Payphones are now cleaner because Splinter seems to be the only person in the entire world who doesn't feel a need to own a cellphone.*

*It could very well be because nobody would call, the phone would never ring, so what would be the point of owning a cutesy cellphone with a kickass ringer if it never makes noise?

But, doesn't that scare you a little, the fact that payphones are more sanitary than your own?

I have a friend, here at work, who owns a cellphone that makes that incessant racket beeping dance jiggly ring whenever her husband decides to call and inform her that she's the one who is supposed to pick up the toilet paper because young miss and younger miss both had accidents on the way to daycare this morning! Her cellphone is the most gawdawful disgustingly dirty piece of technology I've ever laid my eyes on, and that's including all the smut I've seen on the internet.

And what's more? I just recently bought a small travel package of Purell for my own OCD needs. When you work in a building where the bathroom is very public, and women from floors under you feel a need to excrete in your floor's bathroom because it is deemed impossible to use THEIR floor's bathroom, you tend to start getting a little paranoid about germs and the like. What did we ever do without these handy little smelly sanitizers?

Or perhaps I am starting to get old. They say that when you get older you start sleeping less. If that is true, then I am getting older and it's not only scaring the begeezus out of me but it's making me rethink my entire body and mind health situation I have going on.

Now, whenever I feel a headache twinge or start having stomach and bowel problems I wonder if it's attributed to my age or if it's because I'm just one stressed out freakazoid. I've been having lousy sleep lately, and it's not only because the problems of the day are plaguing my brain, but because I have way too much energy for an overweight, lethargic 27 year old with an abundance of sex on the brain.

Dare I say it, am I in my PRIME!? Or have I suddenly morphed into a teenage boy?